there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
