Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
