I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
