I CAN MOONWALK!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
