i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
