wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
