it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize