Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
