He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
