Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
there is glitter all over my balls
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