That's when you crack a 10am beer
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
