I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
and she was petting her beer can
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
