Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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