I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
