I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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