I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
