girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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