so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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