arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
