He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize