it wasn't lemon gatorade
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
