I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
