bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
