Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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