So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
