So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
