Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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