We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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