Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I don't think brook has ever known best
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
