Pappa wants mamma naked
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
