Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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