So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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