Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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