you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
