Ambien. No doubt about it.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
