NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
