Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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