Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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