I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
