I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
