You're my little dorito
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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