Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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