I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
two words: eviction party
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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