Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
