im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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