If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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