I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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