No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
