last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
