Three words: puerto rican gang bang
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
