We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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