ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
