i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We need to get me chipped asap
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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