Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
babies were throwing up all over the place
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
