forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
