he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
