just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
