I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
