There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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