so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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