Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
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